Our Adoption Journey: Photo Catch-up

Blogging has certainly taken a back seat in the last 11 months. Wow, it has really flown by!

Jia is doing wonderfully. We are all doing wonderfully. Now.

That first year was a rough one. Jia was pretty easy, besides some typical sleep issues. She slept with us or in an extra bed in our room for the first 13 months. She still woke at night crying about 50% of the time, slowly tapering off at the year mark. At 13 months home, we felt like she could start sharing a room with Erin (12). The adjustment took a month or so, but all is well. And we have our room back!

I was happily surprised that she has such a desire to connect with family. Because she was so welcoming to our affections, I expected that she might want to connect with everyone, even strangers or aquaintances, but that's not the case. It's really just us. Even when one of her sisters is grumpy and not so kind, Jia forgives very easily and is so ready for reconciliation. So when I say easy, I mean the attachment side of things. Other things, not so easy.

Adding a new preschooler who is much more like a busy, active, but extremely smart toddler, can keep you jumping. She needed a lot of one on one time and constant oversight, which I was ready for. My other kids...they weren't quite ready for the additional demands on my time. They missed me quite a bit. They felt slighted and even unloved at times. That's my mistake for not going out of my way to make each of them feel like they were still as important as they were before we added a new daughter.

We've worked through whole lot of family 'stuff' to try and find a new normal. I've found that one thing that helps my older girls appreciate their new little sister more is to give them 'older kid' time. Time to watch action movies and Dr. Who. Time to be silly and hang out with friends without being pulled away to find a missing doll shoe. And, more individualized time with me and/or Mike. Even if it's just a little one on one time grocery shopping at Target, it is much needed. My goal is to sit with each girl at least once a day and have a calm, quiet, full eye-contact conversation. It doesn't always happen, but that's my goal.

At 16 months home, I can say it really feels normal. We'll always be reading attachment and adoption related books as our family goes through new stages of life, but I think we've found our groove for now.

Here are some of my favorite pictures from this last year.

Birthday girl